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A tough guy celebrity stole my new handgun

a strange dream for a gray man

I had a fever dream the other night. I was not myself. I was the opposite of the gray man.

In the dream, I had recently gotten a new handgun. I was sitting in front of my small, oceanfront house (I don’t have one). I wanted to test my new gun, so I was shooting into the air (I have never done this). A car was driving by and abruptly pulled over after hearing gunfire.

To my astonishment, famed hypocrite, gun owner, and gun control advocate Robert De Niro got out. As he approached, my new gun was on the table and I couldn’t reach for it. He grabbed it. So I drew a concealed 5.7 (don’t have one of these).

I told Bobby D to get off my property. And he tossed the new gun under a shed as he ran away.

I spent the rest of the dream trying to recover it without success.

I’m not great at interpreting dreams. I certainly can’t figure out why I acted so unlike myself in this case.

I keep a low profile. I don’t advertise my radical positions. I certainly don’t brandish firearms where gun-grabbing celebrities might happen to drive by. I keep it gray.

But sometimes, I want to send a subtle message. The Branch Covidians have their masks, so why can’t I have an in-group signal?

So I made one. A tribute to a flag that the FBI says is a symbol of extremism. A way to politely remind people I just want to be left alone.

Even the great King David wasn’t above feeling like a worm. A noble, humble worm.

Pick up a shirt, flag, or outdoor rug. Keep it gray.

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Raw Milk Pls

My new supplier has allowed me to correct all the things I didn’t like about the old one: consistent quality and sizing, excellent materials, precise and durable printing, and quick delivery. They are exactly the kind of comfortable shirts I want to wear. My favorite part is that they send a message.

On top of that, I have the option of sustainable shirts made with organically grown cotton and recycled polyester. Let me tell you how it ties in.

People everywhere want to eat real food from local sources. Digging deeper–or even knowing your farmer–frees you from buying “health food” from the nearest mega-chain. And when you have access to nutrient-dense, seasonal, nourishing food, you want to shout it from the rooftops.

There is a concerted effort by bureaucrats, legacy media, and even academics to suppress the benefits of regenerative agriculture and natural food. Government agencies are trying to stop farmers like Amos Miller from feeding himself, his animals, and his family with his own farm’s products.

Publications like Newsweek are painting it as partisan, and propaganda clearing houses like IFLScience are running smear pieces on people who want food straight from the farm. All while industrially farmed romaine lettuce is far and away the leading culprit in food poisoning cases.

So, I’m launching a new design to help you spread the word about real food. Unlike the NGO led “got milk?” campaign of the 90s, raw dairy is enjoying a grassroots resurgence. Purely through organic reach (pun intended). And it’s based on how much good it does for your body, not on potential profits.

Raw Milk Pls

How long did it take you before making the jump and securing raw dairy for yourself? Did you regret not doing it sooner? I love telling curious people about how raw kefir got rid of my seasonal allergies. I would bet you also want to help people on the fence.

You probably won’t go as far as standing on a corner with a sandwich board that says, “ask me about raw milk”, but you won’t need to with this shirt.

It’s available on an organic cotton blend unisex t-shirt. The tag tears away so there’s nothing touching you but super soft fabric. It’s sewn and printed in the USA.

For the little ones, there’s also a 100% organic cotton onesie. It doesn’t have the cow print (I assume your baby wants the human stuff). Start them off right.